The College Parent: The Road Less Traveled
You sit in class seemingly paying attention to your professor’s lecture on the anatomy of a root but your mind is wandering about your youngest daughter, who is sick with bronchitis, and your older daughter who is probably going to be home alone for an hour because dad won’t be able to pick her up from the bus stop.
Oh yeah, and what about dinner tonight? Your study time is pushed into the wee hours of the morning because your school-aged child has a project that must be finished tonight after she gets in from soccer and gymnastics practice. And besides that, there’s still laundry, dishes, vacuuming and getting the kids to bed at a decent hour, before you even think of taking a break. It is the life of a college going parent.
Pencils, papers, Pullups, bottles, books, tests, day care, essays, music lessons, quizzes, PTA, cramming, professors—are just the various obstacles you encounter in your daily routine, and it’s only just the beginning.
Being a full-time mom is hard work, but when you add work, school and play to the equation it can be an extremely taxing and daunting experience. For me and four other women, all with their own situations, raising a family and going to college we deal with it everyday knowing that what we sacrifice now will be a great reward in the end.
Parental View
Definitely a challenge, but the reward is a huge payoff
Of course parenting is hard, and we all agree that if things could be done over then we would not have had children before going to college. But that is not an option now. For Sonia Waters, a first year student at Northern Virginia Community College with three children, going back to school part-time and working a full-time job is going to be hell.
"I have my husband, and he is a great help and very supportive. I think that will help with the stress of going to school a lot, because I won't have to worry about who's taking care of my kids," Waters said.
Family and friends are important and can be very helpful when you need study time. It is crucial that you allow people to help you. It is sometimes hard to let down that wall and allow people in to give you a hand, but it is something that we have to set aside and use. It does not make you a bad mother or father because you ask and receive help, in fact it makes you a better parent.
Marisa Gregory, student and mother of a 5-month old daughter, credits her husband and parents with caring for the baby while she is at school. "It was an adjustment, but managing my time and asking for help has made the transition easier for me."
"I have to work harder than the average student because I have to show that I can maintain a house and school," said Jade Newman, a senior and mother of one. "The hardest part is having my two-year old understand that mommy has to do homework instead of just playing."
Ekua, a senior at GMU, who is pregnant now, says that "I wish I hadn't done it though, because it's very draining." However she did plan her pregnancy and has been able to work with her professors concerning absences for doctor appointments. "They are very helpful, and understanding."
There is a balance that we have to adhere to, parenting and education. It is easy to let one outweigh the other, when one is stressing you but we have to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Nothing is more important than family, but we have to do what we have to do to better our family, and so we must keep that in mind also.
Getting Through the Hard Times
One Big Happy (Yahoo! Comics)
Time ManagementUse your
time effectively. Just as when the baby was first born, you slept when he did, it is the same now. When the kids are doing their studying, sit down and study also. Your studying may be interrupted for help, but at least you get some in. Don't worry about cleaning the house right now, use the time to put the finishing touches on your term paper, the house will be there. Now is not the time to play
SuperMom. Set a schedule that allows you to manage when you do your everyday life such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, extracurricular activities, studying, and your most needed down time. Delegate chores to the rest of the family, to ease the stress put on you.
MSNBC Mommy Madness
De-Stress
Take time out for yourself. Aside from school and parenthood, as a mother we need to take better care of ourselves. It is generally the mother who neglects herself and puts everyone before her. School is stressful enough, and not de-stressing will leak over into your family life and cause problems. At least once a month, you should be getting out and doing things by yourself or with a friend, things you enjoy doing. Have a spa day, get a manicure and pedicure, and relax with a soothing massage and facial. Exercise is a great de-stresser. Even a movie or just quite time to read will help keep you motivated and in good spirits.
Alternative Class
When the going gets tough and you are not able to attend classes because of hardships, look into night, weekend, summer and online classes. Taking a night class will leave you with more time with your family and more time to study and do homework. Weekend classes can be difficult if your weekends consist of baseball games, swim meets and etc., but it would still allow you to finish your goals. Online classes have become so popular, that many degrees are offered online and are not as long as some traditional classes. There are the combo classes that allow more variety to finishing school. The opportunities are somewhat endless.
The Future
Whether this is your first semester in college or you plan on graduating this May, perseverance is key to making your dreams come true. Be determined and set a goal for yourself. The road will be long and hard, but with a little determination, motivation and dedication you will make it. Look to your family and friends to keep you motivated and inspired. Remember, your children will look up to you for this. This sets in their minds that they can achieve things by seeing you achieve your goals. It is truly always about family.
Links, Links, Links
Check out these links for more resources:
College Mom Magazine
College Guide for Mothers
Bitch Magazine
Women's eNews
Bust
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